i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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