Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
