I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
