I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just had sex bonerless
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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