Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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