so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
