i just had sex bonerless
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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