I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
