talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
