we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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