i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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