I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
