apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
