i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
