Where is the hickey?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
