White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
