you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Drunk is a universal language darling
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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