i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
