4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
