I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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