i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
