I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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