If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Randomize
