The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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