Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
