the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
