That's intense
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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