woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
