i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
