About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Acid is not a monday night drug
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
