How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
