Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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