OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
