I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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