obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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