i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
