Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
