It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
