That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
