I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
