I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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