isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
