Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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