PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
