oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
