I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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