Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
