I love black thongs
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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