This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
