considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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